>Dear Husband:
>
>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've
>been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it.
>These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you
>had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you
came
>home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked
>your
>favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and
ate in
>two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You
don't
>tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either
you're
>cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm
gone.
>
>
>P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving
>away to West Virginia together! Have
>a great life!
>
> Your EX-Wife
>
>
>Dear Ex-Wife
>
>Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that
>you
>and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a
far cry
>from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out
your
>constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you
cut
>off
>all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You
look
>just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you
can't say
>anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me
>confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years
ago. I
>went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the
price
>tag
>was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother
had
>just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was
>$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
work
>it
>out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
>dollars,
>I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got
home
>you
>were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have
the
>filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that
you
>wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
>
>P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born
>Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>
> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!




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