Did you hear about the blind circumcisionist?




















He got the sack.....

Why did the baker have smelly hands...................................................................................................................................................Because he kneaded a Poo!!

A penguin is on a road-trip, driving across the USA. Somewhere in Arizona he notices that the car's oil-pressure light is on.

He gets out looking and sees oil dripping out of the motor, so drives slowly and carefully to the nearest town and stops at the first garage.

"I'll take a look," says the mechanic, "come back in an hour". So the penguin goes for a walk around town, feeling a little hot under the blazing sun. He soon sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big cone of vanilla ice cream and sits down under the shade of a tree to eat. But, having no opposable thumbs, he makes a real mess trying to eat the ice cream with his little flippers, and gets more of it around his mouth and down his chin than he manages to actually eat. After finishing his ice cream, he wanders back to the garage where he meets the mechanic, wiping his hands on an oily rag.

The mechanic looks over at the penguin and says, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

"Oh no, no, you're mistaken" the penguin replies, frantically wiping his mouth in embarrassment, "it's just ice cream."

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something
comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"