I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
by the lights of its decor,

But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He "They're all in shock.
No one thought they'd see you."

Judge NOT ! :tthu

***************************

Wow, really makes you think.

:332 :055

Sobering, indeed.

I was saved two years ago. I hope that when it is my time, I see EVERYONE I know or have been acquainted with.

Godspeed and God Bless all of you!

Yes but what about the perverts
The rapists and the cruel?
Is it all a matter of degree,who makes up the rules?

Can any sin then be forgiven
If we just repent?
`Cos I`d really like to know where Adolph Hitler went! :unsure:

Might need to wear my glasses more.. I thought it said 'The Best Porn' :lafy

Its usually the porn that makes people need glasses :blink:

Brillaint, says it all really,

Ken :nin2

I need several glasses before I can even think about porn :guis

They all look better with the beer goggles on for sure :644

Yeah,but like the old song says:'When the brew of the night meets the cold of the day.......!'

How on earth did we get from Wizz's beautiful semantic poem, to beer, birds and the regrets of the cold light of day? :xax Im even more concerned about the acronyms, where we seem to have some inebriated necrophylia going on! :tthu

:res Wizz ................with ya mate . Nice one :023

She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.

"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."

"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."

And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

:719

I blame it all on Raven-she started the ball rolling.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars
that shine and twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
in such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
what wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.


Is that better? :444

A little culture from Wordsworth seems to have knocked all of the conversation on the head, so lets try something a little more blatent...

Complete the following....

There was an old lady from Nantucket,